It has been a while since I posted an outfit look. The last one was over a year ago, before I got pregnant. Baby’s been here for 9 months. I guess it takes just as long to feel like oneself again as it takes to make a baby.
I’m not someone who thinks pregnancy is beautiful. Beautiful the concept, yes, the biology, sure, but the physical look? No. I looked like a potato. And that is ok, I don’t have to think I looked pretty, I had no less value as a person just because I looked worse. I was still my fabulous self. Just, potato-ing.
However, something that helped my self-esteem not to go down at the time I was pregnant, was that I felt like my body wasn’t really mine. I transported it, yes, but it was baby’s house. That was its main purpose. So the fact that I didn’t look good also had that detachment aspect to it- this wasn’t me. Once baby was out though, that was a different story.
I looked different. I could not fit in any of my clothes. I felt like I was losing some of my identity. I had already become a mother- that was a huge shift – and it was wonderful, but I did not want to let go of my old self completely. So I started to put a bit more care into how I looked. My hair, my body weigh, my skin. Hard to do with a high-needs baby, but needed to be done either way (hey, I never hid that I was a high needs mama).
This is nothing special. Velvet green pants, a black tank top, a short coat. The same monks as the last post. But my body shape is getting back to what it was, and I’m starting to feel like me again. So much so that I’m confident now about taking full body pictures and publishing them. So that deserves a post.
