I get asked the same style and beauty questions over and over by friends. Here are 7 from this year, with the actual answers I gave (slightly cleaned up).
"What do I wear to a wedding when I am pregnant?"
The good news: maternity formal wear has gotten so much better. The bad news: most of it is still ugly.
What works: A flowy midi or maxi dress with a defined waistline above the bump. NOT a sack dress. The waistline keeps you looking put-together.
Where to look: Hatch makes great maternity formal wear. Rent the Runway has maternity options. Many regular brands work in larger sizes (just size up).
Avoid: Tight bodycon styles that highlight every change in your body. Stiff fabrics that do not move. Anything you would have hated pre-pregnancy.
Real talk: You will probably wear it once. Do not spend $400. Rent or buy something under $150.
"How do I dress when I have gained weight and nothing fits?"
First: this is annoying and you are allowed to be annoyed about it.
Second: the answer is to actually buy clothes in the size you currently are. The "I will fit back into these" pile is the cause of so much daily outfit stress.
What to do: Buy 5-6 things in your current size that fit well. Ignore the size on the tag entirely. Donate or store the things that do not fit.
What to focus on: Pieces with stretch (jeans with elastane, soft knits). Wraparound and tie-waist styles that adjust to small changes. Higher waistlines that smooth your midsection.
What to skip: Anything labeled "shapewear that you wear for the whole day." Crash diets. Buying things that are slightly too small.
"Should I color my gray hair?"
Honest answer: only if YOU want to. Both choices are fine.
If you color it: Plan for the maintenance. Touch-ups every 4-6 weeks. The cost adds up. Going from colored back to gray is a multi-year process.
If you let it go: The growing-out phase is awkward (1-3 years depending on hair length and growth rate). After that, gray hair done well looks great.
The middle option: Gloss treatments and lowlights/highlights to blend gray rather than cover it. Less maintenance, more natural look.
What I tell friends: Try one option for a year. If you hate it, try the other. There is no permanent wrong answer.
"What does 'business casual' actually mean?"
The phrase is so vague it is essentially meaningless. Different industries use it differently.
Generally safe: Tailored pants or a midi skirt + a nicer top + closed-toe shoes. Optional blazer.
Tech-style business casual: Dark jeans + nice top + clean sneakers or loafers. A blazer is overkill.
Finance-style business casual: Trousers (not jeans) + button-down or blouse + leather shoes. Blazer recommended.
Universal hack: Look at what your boss and senior people wear. Match their formality level.
What to skip: Anything you would wear to a club. Anything with visible logos or graphics. Yoga pants pretending to be trousers.
"What do I wear when I am not sure of the dress code?"
Default: dressy casual. A nice blouse + tailored pants OR jeans + nice top + blazer. Closed-toe shoes.
The principle: It is way better to be slightly overdressed than slightly underdressed. The opposite of casual is formal; the opposite of formal is sloppy.
The hack: Bring an option. Wear the more casual option to start. Carry a blazer or a dressier accessory you can add if needed.
"How often should I actually wash my jeans?"
Honest answer from someone who used to over-wash: way less than you think.
Quality jeans: Every 5-10 wears unless they are visibly dirty or smelly. The denim breaks down with each wash.
Spot cleaning: Use a damp cloth or stain remover for small messes between washes.
Air them out: After wearing, hang in a well-ventilated spot rather than throwing in the laundry pile. Restores them between wears.
When you do wash: Cold water. Inside out. Hang dry. Never tumble dry.
"My makeup melts off by 2pm. Help."
Almost always one of three things:
1. Your skin is too oily and you skipped primer. Use an oil-control primer (like Smashbox Photo Finish) under foundation.
2. Your foundation is too heavy. Heavy foundations slip more, especially in heat. Try a lighter foundation or a tinted moisturizer.
3. You are not setting it. A light dusting of translucent powder (Laura Mercier or any drugstore equivalent) over the T-zone keeps things in place.
The day fix: Blotting papers (NOT more powder) to absorb oil during the day. They are like $5 for 100. Game changer.
The takeaway
Most style and beauty questions have boring answers. The dramatic transformations you see online are usually a combination of good genetics, professional help, and editing. Real-life style is incremental adjustments and finding what genuinely works for your life.
Got a question you want me to answer? Same approach: short, honest, no fluff.
